My Journey {Adoption}

Hey friends!

Today I'm going to share my adoption story. I can't believe I haven't shared it yet! It is somewhat scary to throw this out for the whole world wide web to see, but if I can touch or inspire just one person then I'll be so happy that I shared.

I just want to start by saying that I know each persons adoption experience is completely different and unique. This is just mine. In this story, you will see me refer to my birth mom (Angie) and my Mom. Just so there is no confusion, my Mom is my adopted mother who raised me.

Moving on...I was adopted when I was a baby right out of the hospital. My Mom and Dad weren't able to have kids themselves unfortunately and decided they wanted to adopt. My Dad's good friend and attorney set them up with my birth mom and the rest was history. I remember my mom always saying how badly she wanted me and how often she would pray for me. That I was specifically chosen for her and my Dad. Boy, oh boy, did I get lucky with them as my parents. My parents told me I was adopted when I was pretty young and were always very open about it and helping me understand it, but I never really 'got it' until much later.

This may be because my Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was a child. She was in and out of cancer treatments most of my adolescent life and I didn't know life any differently. I never felt out of place with my parents or that they weren't my true parents. In fact, it was quite the opposite. Since I was the only child and they had prayed for me for so long, they spoiled me rotten. Naturally! I felt so much love from them everyday and they were the most wonderful parents to me. My Mom was the most incredible mother...she did anything and everything for me. She never complained about the cards she was dealt and all she wanted was to see me grow up. She had the sweetest soul - she volunteered at our local hospital and even initiated multiple cancer support groups. I remember when my Mom got really sick, a lady showed up in hospice to visit her. She drove 3 hours and had never met her before, but told me how much my Mom inspired her and kept her going to fight off her cancer. I thought that was the coolest thing...a complete stranger coming to visit my Mom. She was a true angel here on earth who had more people look up to her than anyone I've ever met. I never truly realized how lucky I was to have her in my life, and to be her daughter, until after she passed. My Mom passed away right after my 16th birthday when she was 49 years old. She may not physically be here anymore, but the life lessons she has taught me, will always be present. I will never forget the mother/person she was, and I hope one day I can be just as loving to my children. I'm incredibly thankful for the journals my Mom left me (my love notes in a box, as she called them). They are a constant reminder of her zest and passion for life and her love for my Dad and myself.

I dealt with her death like most normal teenagers do...anger, denial, frustration, confusion. All the emotions. I would give anything to re-live the last final days with her, to hold her, to hug her, to just hear her voice. Sidenote: If you are blessed to have your mother still in your life...do me a favor and please cherish her. Soak up every minute with her. Anyway, as I grew older and years had passed, my Dad mentioned little things about meeting my birth mom to me. I was still not in the mindset to follow through with it. I felt like I would be hurting my Mom's feelings or doing something wrong by meeting her. It wasn't until college that I thought it might be a good idea to meet her. You see, since my Mom passed, I've also lost 3 aunts to the awful disease. I became interested in my own genes and if my birth mom and her family were healthy. Did they have cancer in their family? anything else I need to know about? Plus, I was curious who she was! I finally decided to say yes and go for it.

My Dad's attorney who set up my adoption had already informed us in the past that my birth mom, Angie, lived in Columbus (only 15 mins away from me at that!), and was dying to meet me. He supported me and was excited for me to meet her. That made me feel comfortable because he obviously knew that she was a good lady with good intentions. My Dad and I went over to his attorney's house one night and we called my birth mom. It was the first time I had heard her voice. I just remember being so nervous but she seemed nervous too and was so sweet. I found out that she is now married (my birth father and her broke up after they had me) and has another daughter - which meant I have a half sister! Pretty crazy. 

Fast forward some time - we made plans to meet each other. I knew I wanted my Dad to come with me for the meeting. We met at our attorney's office and he introduced us to one another. I can't BEGIN to tell you how nervous I was...I was shaking like crazy. This is where things get a little wild. Prior to meeting, we thought it would be nice to bring pictures of us growing up...me as a baby, my parents, and Angie as a child with her family. The first moment seeing her was pretty surreal...my first thought was she looks IDENTICAL to me! It was pretty crazy but it wasn't uncomfortable and our conversation flowed naturally. I remember Angie telling my Dad how well him and my Mom raised me, and what a good job they did, which was so kind. She told me I was beautiful and we talked like we had been friends for a while. 

{my half sister and birth mom and me on my wedding day}

 {Natasha, me, Billy}

Now here is the wild part. I told Angie how I went to college at Bowling Green State University. She instantly perked up and was like, "oh, my niece goes there!" I asked her who her niece was and much to my surprise, her niece is one of my GOOD friends that I grew up with since high school, Natasha. Let's take a moment....all throughout high school I was friends with Natasha and we continued to be close throughout our college days at BGSU. I had JUST found out that she is actually my COUSIN. Natasha is Angie's brothers daughter. How insane is that? We were in shock. Not only did I meet my birth mom that day, but I found out one of my good friends is actually someone in my family. I cannot begin to tell you how I felt that day..there are no words that could accurately describe it. 

Right after we left the meeting, I immediately tried calling Natasha. It turns out she was calling me at the exact same time (Angie had called her immediately to tell her!) because we kept getting each others voicemail's! Of course! When we finally reached each other, we were screaming. Tears. More screaming. It was so unbelievable. When I saw Natasha for the first time after finding out I felt like it was different - we weren't just friends, we are family.

Angie has always been super supportive of me and puts the ball in my court. She is an amazing Mom to her daughter and is so caring and loving. I'm so thankful that she chose adoption for me. I have since met most of Angie's side of the family...including her husband, my half sister, my grandmother, and aunt. I did invite them to my wedding and am so glad they came! We still talk and have a good relationship to this day. I couldn't have asked for a better, more heartwarming experience.

I think my Mom would be pretty happy for me. And who knows, maybe it was her who orchestrated all of this. I like to think so.

There you have it! If you are adopted and ever have the opportunity to meet your birth parents, I would definitely encourage you to do so. If anything, at least you know you tried. Someday it may be too late to try.

Have you or anyone you know been adopted? I love hearing all the different stories.